Gym Bunny: Backstory

I existed, that’s probably the best way of describing me before. I was here, here for people to use and to hurt or to ignore. That was how it felt like it would always be before I found my salvation.

One day I was walking down the street, the bright green leaves of spring in the trees shading the main road should have felt cheery and promising, instead, they just felt like a lie, the bright promise of something that would soon be dull and then dead. Like most of my days it hadn’t been great, I learned that the promotion I was promised was being given to someone with half my experience and expertise. Sure they couldn’t do the job but they smiled a lot and liked to grab a beer with the boss.

I shook my head, wanting to shake out the all-consuming sadness I was feeling.

From up ahead the beat of music began to wash over me, and as I drew near the music became louder. It was coming from a building with a huge glass window that showcased the studio inside from where the music was spilling out. I stopped, taking in the group of women energetically moving and dancing to the beat. They looked so vibrant, so alive. I wanted that.

I found myself inside the building, the door leading to the studio was ajar, I peered through the thrumming of the beat and felt like it was deep in my body, urging it to start moving. I opened the door a little more and slipped inside the back of the studio.

“Let’s step it up a notch,” yelled the instructor enthusiastically.

I threw my bag against the wall along with my hoodie and joined in. Doing my best to follow along with the quick steps and dance moves in my sneakers. At the end of the session, sweat fell in rivers down my body, I felt inverted, I felt exhausted, I felt. That class changed my life, I felt like I had meant that there were things in this world that I could control. I make sure I’m in the studio at least once a day now, morning and evening if I can make it.

The funny thing is that all those things that bothered me before are still there but they just don’t seem as important or maybe it is because I see myself as more important. I am capable, and I am strong so don’t mess with me.